Posts tagged life.
“I know a lot of people who are simpletons, y’know? They’re very simple, they can enjoy their lives and be totally happy and secure just watching sports on television and having a beer every once in a while, so, I’ve always felt too complicated, so I envied those people. I’m not saying that I’m smarter than those people, it’s just that I’m too sensitive. I wish sometimes that I could just enjoy the simple things in life, and just forget about everything else.” - Kurt Cobain, 1993.
I understand the actual sentiment behind those kinds of posts but after seeing them a million times my brain over-analyzes and attempts to actually answer the question.
Reality is a monster living under your bed. They tell it like it is, but they’re not all bad.
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL. I want a morbid Pumpkin Pie monster to give me inspirational pep talks in the morning :>
① University of Michigan’s DJ Hadeel Al-Hadidi created and broadcasts her own hour-long radio program.
② Scholars teach that Islam encourages sports and physical activity for all, wrote Sayed. The prophet Muhammad is said to have invited his wife Aisha to a foot race.
③ Nadia Afghani, left, and Nadia Chohan make up Hijabi Deafness, a Muslim punk rock/hip-hop band.
④ Michelle Yim, a network engineer, skis, swims, body surfs, rides motorcycles – all while wearing the hijab.
⑤ Atlanta-based Mariem “Punchenella” Brakache (5-5, 1KO) is a former IBA Junior Middleweight Champion, boxing coach and renowned trainer.
⑥ A ballerina and tap dancer from Texas, Hiba Awad is anxious to prove “how versatile and unique a Muslim woman can be.”
⑦ Nousheen Yousuf said the practice of tae kwon do “taught me to treat daily prayers as a real meditation, where the focus is on my relationship with God.”
⑧ Nosheen Cassim, a part-time makeup artist and full-time mother of two, was born and raised in Illinois, but has been threatened by strangers who told her to “go back to where she came from.”
⑨ No matter how different they may look from other beachgoers, Sama Wareh, left, and Aurelia Khatib believe in doing what they love, including surfing.
⑩ Asma Azim, a step-grandmother from Pakistan, has been a manager of mechanics and a truck driver for more than a dozen years. She said her male contemporaries treat her with respect – especially when they discover she can repair her own engine.
Maybe we should all just listen to records and quit our jobs.
It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.
A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.
Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.
You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.
Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.
Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.
I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.
You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see.
It astounds and scares me when I see my feelings written down and thrown back at me with such accuracy. I mean it really knocks me out for a second.
So yeah. This is…. how I feel most of the time. And the non-answer makes me the teensy-est more scared.
Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.
Neil Armstrong led a really eventful life after the moon landing too. He got married twice. He taught at the University of Cincinnati for a while. He lost the tip of his finger when his wedding ring got caught in a grain truck, then calmly found it, put it on ice, and successfully had it reattached. He threatened to a sue a barber who sold his hair unless the barber agreed to donate the money to a charity of Armstrong’s choice. He helped investigate two spaceflight accidents in 1970 and 1986. He turned down offers for a political career on multiple occasions and in 2010, at the age of 80, he offered his services as commander on a mission to Mars if he were asked.
It gives me a lot of perspective. I don’t know. You return from one of the greatest expeditions mankind has yet to embark on having seen the entire planet rise over you like the sun, and over forty years later, there are still great adventures in life to embark on.
Living is neat
The Game of Thrones!
So incredibly true. Being the oldest, I used to love it when my cousins would extend their hands when we crossed the street. It’s just so lovely to be holding a little being’s hand :)
And with that, I think I’ll go take a shower and start studying my ass off for physics (gross).
By that I simply mean to
- interact with other people, new people!
- laugh and dance and talk deeply and catch up with friends
- go out and explore my city, new things, anything!
- take a trip, have a bonfire, swim in a lake or ocean
- do all the things I love - bake, sing, swim, read, talk, make music, everything
- enjoy nature in all it’s glory!
Yet here I am
procrastinating studying for the midterms of courses that I don’t even care about since I am switching from an Honours Biology to an Honours International Development major come January (yes, it’s official).
And although I am an optimist and do try to see the benefits of all that I do, I am just not feeling that right now and in turn I am finding it very hard to muster up the motivation to plow through this.
I’m sick of being cooped up indoors studying. I feel like my energy would be better spent elsewhere.
I am just feeling so alive and ready to DO.